"Parents are like God, because you wanna know they're out there, and you want
them to think well of you but you really only call when you need
something."
-Chuck
Palahniuk
I have
been pondering about writing darker pieces, for a while now and I have decided
firmly that I will...because my readers ought to know what I think. There will
surely be some who will loathe me and I will earn the hateful stares of the few I offend, but I
feel I've got to do justice to my blog. So, brace yourself, dear readers...
I start
now.
I have encountered in the past, people who
believe that they owe their parents everything, and that was exactly what I
thought till about a couple of years back. I wouldn't have been writing this
piece if not for my parents.....but did I ask for that?
I didn't,
hypothetically speaking, run to my parents and beg them to give birth to me(I
know, it's a paradox. This statement is,
obviously, just for the sake of the argument.)
The
meaning of ' being in debt' or ' owing' is that A asks B for something and B
gives it to A, expecting to be given something in return. Since that didn't happen in this case, I
don't owe them for giving birth to me.
Now, I will say this and I am likely to
do so again: I find the idea of nonexistence attractive. It's something that I have thought about, and discussed with many acquaintances. I just won't be here
to endure the nastiness of life, which is a good thing.(don't
worry, I am positive that I have not lost it.)
Anyway,
getting back on track,what about the care, love, and protection they gave me
during my upbringing?
Whenever
one creates something or someone, he is inevitably and automatically burdened
with the total responsibility of the latter. I consider it to be a law of the
universe. If I drew a sketch, and it got torn, it is I who is responsible for
it and if I fix the tear with an inch of clear tape, the sketch does not owe
me, I was responsible for it all along. For every single act performed by me,
every single aspect of my being and every single thought in my brain till i
fully achieved the status of being capable of thinking logically and
independently, my creators ie my parents are the ones who are more or less
responsible. Even after that, as I advance through the stages of life, many
things about me like my attitude, are partially, if not wholly connected to the
influence of my parents.
Before my teen-years, my whims and fancies
were entertained unconditionally by my parents. Then, I was neither capable of
clearing the 'debt' nor did I understand the mere concept of it. I'm sure my
parents didn't expect a child to pay them back and I don't recall a memory of
them mentioning it.
I am not
sure if I can term these acts as charity.
However,
after I gained maturity and came into the possession of a reasonably good
amount of knowledge about this subject, the requests I put forward to my
parents, could be counted as favors.
Let's
take for example, when I bought my XBOX 360.
That can
be thought of as, me borrowing money from my parents to indulge in a little bit
of luxury. They weren't obliged to purchase a gaming console for me...but they did. It
wasn't their duty to do it, but they did it anyway. Looks like I need
to get some cash...lots of cash.
What did
I give my parents?
Probably the best thing I ever gave them was joy, right after I was born.
Let's
twist the picture a little bit. If I need to repay them for all the moments of
happiness, would I then have to repay them for times when they have hurt(not
just physically)me?
I am of
the opinion that couples have children for their own selfish reasons.(I know
what you're thinking - boo!!!)
It's
rarely because they want to present to the world a responsible and efficient
individual, instead it's because they don't want to miss out on anything. They
want to own a human who is fully dependent on them and experiment, just to see
what happens.
That, or
society compels them to have kids.
Some of
you might think that I am being unfair to all the fathers and mothers out
there, as I don't know what molding a life, really is.
Agreed,
it's tough, but that doesn't solve anything.
Okay,
back to the point.
I have
all kinds of questions about it.
If I owe
my parents everything, and someday I have children and they owe me everything,
does that balance it out ? Does it end up becoming a vicious circle of pending
debts and it all nullifies and nobody owes their parents anything?
Hell, I have another kickass argument which is the one that I truly believe in.
By giving
birth to me into this life, this wicked and merciless hellhole, when I could
have been enjoying, being nothing, haven't my parents committed an unpardonable
deed and the greatest crime of all?
Don't they owe me exponentially more than they have and are indebted to
me?
At this
particular moment in time, being absolutely flabbergasted by the indecipherable
mess of thoughts zooming through my brain, I open my laptop and watch an
episode of True Detective and shortly after that, sleep.
In
conclusion, I consider the relationship of a parent and his/her child to be the
purest in existence. To pollute it with the superficial and narrow concepts of
'favors' and 'debt' would be wrong. If I were a theist, I would label it as a
sin.
You owe
nothing to your parents, unless you choose to. I, want to see mine, happy and
healthy and I will do my utmost to ensure it, out of respect. This unique
relationship should be marked by, mutual respect and trust.
So that,
one doesn't have to look back to know that someone is there to support him.
I hope
that the love I have received from my parents was just because they cared about
me. I would like to believe that, a father's or a mother's compassion evolves
from the instinct, to protect and provide for an offspring.
That is all.
